I remember the first time to talked with Jonathan and Alyssa and got a chance to listen to their story and heart for adoption. I knew that they had approached adoption with so much thought, care, education, and love. They truly had leaned into the realities of what walking the adoption journey would require of them. Getting the honor of coming alongside them through the highs and lows was such a privilege. Even when their story took a turn they were not expecting, they landed in with love, open hands and a full open heart. Little did we know that this openness would lead them to their daughter who would complete their family and bring more amounts of love and joy than ever thought possible. I felt so grateful to watch their story unfold and see the trueness of their hearts on display. I am so excited to share their story and the light they continue to bring to those around them in adoption.
In Alyssa's Words:
God placed in my heart the desire to adopt when I was in my early 20s. Little did I know then that my husband and I would struggle with infertility for almost 8 years. The week we planned to call an adoption agency, we discovered that I was pregnant after several years of working to heal my body naturally and optimize my fertility. Not long after I held my blue-eyed baby in my arms, my heart started to ache for another—the one that God had placed in my heart many years earlier.
Our son Gideon was 9 months old when we had our first phone call with our lovely consultant Fallon. Our home study was completed in November 2020 and we were quickly matched the beginning of the next year. I had recently weaned my son and decided to relactate for our future child. I spent over 4 months pumping and praying for the precious baby boy who would be entering our family. The day before my birthday and two weeks before his due date, his mama changed her mind and decided she was not able to move forward with the adoption. At that moment, I knew he was never meant to be ours but it did not lessen the pain, the grief or the feelings of loss.
I continued to pump for a couple more months but situations became infrequent during that time and I was wearing down emotionally. I finally surrendered it all to Jesus and I was able to donate a good amount of milk to a mama who really needed it. The mix of not pumping anymore, the interupted adoption and hormonal changes caused me to fall into a dark black hole. I felt severely fatigued and weepy during that time. We also said yes to 8 other expecting moms and we were told “no” each time.
I think this is why God does not allow us to see the details of the future because if He did, we might be overwhelmed and want to give up. Instead, He gives us His grace to walk with Him day by day through all of the ups and downs and for the long haul. I know there are many of you still in the “waiting”. The crazy thing about waiting is that it is not stagnant. In fact, the very opposite. Waiting is proactive---putting one step in front of the other and continuing to move forward even when you feel weighed down, tired, frustrated and lost. Sometimes even doubting but also firmly trusting that God is good and He is good to me and you. He who has promised IS faithful and it is the testing of our faith that develops perseverance.
Six months after our interupted match, we received the call. A mom was in the hospital only a couple weeks away from her due date. We were given very little information and told that we needed to decide if we wanted to present within the hour. My husband was hesitant but my heart was open to any possibility at that point. I called our contact back and said “If it is not too late, we would like to say yes.” And she responded with “Great! I had the social worker bring your profile book over just in case.”
"When we were chosen, it was the most overwhelming amount of honor we have ever felt. Just knowing this mom had seen something in us brought us to tears. There will never be enough words to share the amount of love we have for her. "
The next day, we received the call that she had chosen us. I wept with joy but also knew that this was only the beginning of the next stage in the wild ride of adoption. Within a couple weeks, we packed up our bags, arranged for my husband’s parents to come stay with our son, and drove out to meet our daughter’s birth mom. We were able to spend several hours chatting with her before she went into C-section and asked for me to be there with her. Those precious moments will always be with me and I will get to share with her daughter how brave and full of love she was.
I will never forget the moment the doctor held up our precious baby girl and said “here she is!” The stories of how my babies entered this world could not be more different from each other but they were both long awaited for and they fill my heart to overflowing. If you’re thinking about adoption and wondering if you could love a child like your own biological child, I’m here to tell you that it is absolutely possible—even instinctual. I loved him before I knew him and I loved her before I knew her and I will never forget the moments I laid eyes on them for the very first time. I did not know my heart was capable of such love.
Adoption is not for the faint of heart but I will tell you this--- I would do it all over again. Our daughter, August Madelyn, is the most precious gift God (and her birth mom) could ever give us. It may not seem fair that some of our journeys to parenthood are harder than others but the moment you hold your babies in your arms, you know it was all well worth it.
