Tuesday, June 28, 2022

Meet Mateo



I love partnering with families that all have very different backgrounds. Neil and Mandy were originally foster parents and had the biggest heart for children. After having three biological kids, they knew their heart for adoption and fostering was still very alive in their life. After a door closed for them in their foster care journey they decided to pursue domestic adoption. Watching their faith in action and the love for their child's mom on display was beautiful. Read their story below and be encouraged that love in action can be so beautiful. 

In Neil and Mandy's Words

Neil and I have always wanted to have several kids, but shortly after getting married we felt like God was leading us to do that in a different way than we had expected. Someone at our church spoke to the congregation about foster care and adoption. It was during their talk that God stirred something in both our hearts, unbeknownst to the other. I don’t remember which one of us brought it up first but we ended the day deciding to start the process of becoming foster parents. We didn’t know exactly what that path would look like of course, but we definitely felt strongly that God was calling us in that direction. God gave us a glimpse into our future family that day, one that was a beautiful blend of biological and adopted kids. 



While we were living in Florida we got our foster care license and mainly did short term care while my husband was stationed there in the Coast Guard. During this time I also became pregnant and had our first child. We then relocated to California, and for various reasons decided to hold off on foster care for a few years. We had plans to move back to my hometown, which is also where we had first met and got married, once Neil retired from the Coast Guard four years later, where we had family and a strong community to support us. In the meantime we went on to have 2 more kids. All this time we were looking forward to and anticipating becoming foster parents once again. 

After Neil’s retirement from the Coast Guard and moving our family back home to Port Angeles, we began the foster care process once again, believing  this was still the path God had for us. Instead, He led us in a slightly different direction. Towards the end of the licensing process that door all of a sudden closed, leaving us a bit bewildered and discouraged. The details of that is for another time but I remember feeling very frustrated, sad, and confused. Doubt even began to creep in. Why would God place foster care on our hearts for the last several years only to close that door before it ever really got started? Did we really hear God correctly? Why not us, when there is such a huge need out there for more foster parents? I wrestled with those questions for awhile, but not too long after we felt God whispering private adoption into our hearts. So we switched course a little, fully trusting that God had a plan in all this, even if it didn’t make sense. 


I believe it was April or May of 2020 when we first connected with CAC. A family friend had recommended them and after one phone call with Fallon we knew this was the route for us. Our chat with Fallon was so encouraging and made us very excited for what the future held. We worked throughout the summer to get everything completed and approved and by September we had become active, and we entered the waiting game. 

Overall, everything went smoothly for us and seemed to just move right along. However, that didn’t mean it was easy. We definitely hit paperwork fatigue and wondered if our checklists would ever end. We wrestled with whether or not to ask family and friends for financial support. I even remember occasionally questioning whether we actually heard God correctly or not. But through it all God was faithful and was with us every step of the way. I remember preparing my mind for the long haul knowing that it could take a while before we were matched. We started getting situations to review right away and we would get one almost weekly. I remember feeling overwhelmed at first. How do you know if you should pursue one or not? I remember reading a blog post about someone’s adoption story and they said they knew instantly when the right one popped up. I never felt that certainty and began to worry. I remember calling Fallon up early on after receiving a few situations asking her “help, what am I supposed to be feeling?? How do we know which one is the right one?” Once again, I hung up feeling very encouraged and at peace about this part of the process. And I will say, we never did feel that absolute certainty but we did trust that God knew the right one for us. So unless we felt uncomfortable presenting to a certain expecting mom then we would just go ahead and present our profile book believing the right mom would choose us. Giving it to God took the pressure off us and the notion that our adoption somehow hinged on whether or not we made the right choice. 


We ended up saying to 3 moms before we were chosen. Even though it took only two months to get chosen it felt like a lot longer. It was quite the emotional roller coaster. Receiving a situation, praying about whether to present, deciding to present, waiting for an answer, receiving word that she chose someone else, then repeating that whole process over and over, brought out so many different emotions. It was rather exhausting for me. Thankfully my husband was a rock and remained so patient and peaceful through it all. He kept reminding me that God knows what He is doing and we can trust Him no matter what. 

At one point I remember becoming very discouraged. Three different moms we had presented to had chosen different families. I started to doubt this path for us. I began to think we hadn’t heard God correctly once again and that maybe we were only supposed to have 3 kids. I also started to wonder why no one was choosing us. What could we have said differently in our letter? It was during that time that we received a situation of a little girl who had already been born and was just waiting to be adopted. It had been an extra long day for both Neil and I that day and we were both really exhausted by the end of the day when we finally sat down to talk about it. I remember feeling super anxious about whether or not we should present our profile book. Part of me just wanted to curl up and go to bed, but part of me didn’t want to pass up this opportunity. What if this baby girl was supposed to be ours? I was very stressed about it and had not idea what to do.  Neil’s advice was to go to bed and reevaluate in the morning and that it is never a great idea to make a decision when you are tired and exhausted. So I went to bed. The next morning I was still wondering whether or not we should pursue it when I opened my email and saw a new situation to review. For whatever reason, both of us felt much better about this one and decided say yes. And sure enough this amazing mom chose us! It was such a great feeling and reminded us of God’s faithfulness and goodness. And 5 months later our sweet Mateo Elias was born. Since this adoption was open we got to talk on the phone with his mom a few different times and even meet her in person the day before Mateo was born. She invited me to be in the room when she delivered him and that was such a special moment. I am forever grateful to her for letting me be a part of that.I knew I didn't deserve it, but her graciousness will never be forgotten in that moment.  I even spent the rest of that day and part of the next in the room with her and Mateo. Spending that time with her was such a gift and the admiration and love we have for her is endless.  Our time together was precious to me. And I remember thinking how gracious she was to invite me into that space with her at such a vulnerable time for her. She truly amazes me. Her love for Mateo was so obvious and I am in awe of her bravery, selflessness, and fierce love for her son.



Again, everything went so smoothly and I am still in awe and full of gratitude at the way God orchestrated it all just perfectly. I’m not sure it could have gone any better. Mateo fits into our family so well and is simply adored by all of us. His siblings think the world of him and play with him so well. He is the sweetest, happiest, chunkiest little guy. Every day I thank God for this gift (which is what his name means) and am grateful to his birth mom for choosing us to raise her son. What an honor! Not only did we fall in love with Mateo but our love for his birth mom surprised me. I hoped and prayed there would be a special bond between us, but it grew faster than I expected. We love his birth mom and feel like she will forever be a part of our family. We communicate through messenger about every week. Nothing long or deep, but it warms my heart every time. She loves seeing pictures and videos of him. I pray that our relationship continues to grow throughout Mateo’s life. 

Mateo is full of endless smiles and giggles. He is laid back and chill, yet also full of energy and just wants to move. His whole face lights up when he smiles. He loves people and loves to just stare and watch them. I often catch him staring at me from where he is playing. And as soon as I look his way he lights up with a huge smile. He is so observant and seems to take in everything he sees.He has the best facial expressions and bounces like crazy in his bouncy seat. He gets covered in kisses all day every day and probably will for the rest of his life.  




***If you are interested in learning more about adoption and services we provide at Christian Adoption Consultants, I would love to chat! Feel free to email me, Fallon Palacios, at   Fallon@christianadoptionconsultant.com and check out www.christianadoptionconsultants.com for more information!! ***